Back to School Isn’t Just for Them - It’s for YOU Too: Leadership “Lessons” that Transform

It’s 7:38 a.m. The coffee’s cold. Your inbox pings with a “high priority” email. Your oldest yells about missing gym shoes, your youngest refuses lunch, and the dog is barking at nothing.

Ten seconds. You have a choice - join the chaos or model calm.

You take a breath. And in that moment, you teach the first lesson of the day - not about shoes or sandwiches, but about stress, self-control, and how to navigate life when things don’t go your way.

Before your kids learn their lessons, they’re learning you. And it’s not just them - your team, your partner, your colleagues are all reading your state more than your statements. September isn’t just “back to school.” It’s the ultimate leadership test.

Why September Is the Ultimate Leadership Test

For high-achieving women navigating career, motherhood, and meaning, September is more than “back to school.” It’s a triple pressure point:

At home: The logistics avalanche - new schedules, supply lists, and the whiplash of re-entry after summer.

At work: Q4 deadlines loom, performance reviews creep closer, and leadership expectations spike.

Inside yourself: Old patterns - perfectionism, over-functioning, emotional shortcuts  threaten to take the wheel and here’s the part most people miss, your state in these transitions is the curriculum.

Your child’s brain, especially between ages 0-12, is wiring itself in response to your emotional and behavioral cues. Your nervous system is the first “teacher” they ever have.

The same goes for your professional sphere. As a leader, your presence is constantly shaping the climate around you. Calm under pressure? That’s contagious. So is panic.

Which means this season isn’t just about their learning. It’s about yours. The learning, unlearning, and relearning you do now sets the tone not only for the year ahead but for the legacy you’re building.

5 Empowered Success Moves to Rewrite the Lessons They Learn from You

Each move is framed with what it looks like in YOUR EVERYDAY, what neuroscience says and a practical “Try this” so you can apply it today.

1. Mornings Set the Mood: Script Them Intentionally

What it looks like in YOUR EVERYDAY:

Parenting: Instead of defaulting to rush, react, regret, you slow the morning by 90 seconds to check in with your kids before everyone scatters.

Workplace: You arrive at the office or open your laptop without diving straight into email, setting an intentional first action instead.

Self: You stop checking your phone before you’ve even stood up from bed.

What neuroscience says: Neuroscience shows children’s mirror neurons copy your morning mood - they literally “catch” your state. Dopamine spikes from intentional action help keep your prefrontal cortex online longer, improving decision-making and emotional regulation.

Try this:

Pick one non-negotiable morning habit that grounds you. If you don’t know where to start, I have a free e-book of a 5 minute routine that’s downloadable on my website and in my bio,

Example:

Before touching your phone, you and your kids share a one-word “morning mood check.” If your child says “tired” or “nervous,” you respond with a quick, encouraging phrase. In the office, before email, you jot down your top three priorities for the day on a sticky note and keep it in your line of sight.

2. Lead the Micro-Moments

What it looks like in YOUR EVERYDAY:

Parenting: Last week, my grand-daughter left her math homework at school. The first instinct was to scold. Instead, my daughter asked, “What’s your plan to fix this?” She surprised her by connecting with a friend for the assignment - she solved it herself.

Workplace: A team member misses a deliverable. You respond with curiosity before criticism.

Self: You hit a traffic jam and resist the urge to catastrophize the rest of your day.

What neuroscience says:

Micro-moments are where neural rewiring happens fastest. In emotionally charged situations, the amygdala tries to hijack your response. Conscious interruption through breathing, labeling the feeling, or reframing the thought strengthens the brain’s regulation pathways.

Try this:

When triggered, name your internal state out loud (even if it’s just to yourself): “I’m feeling rushed.” That 1-2 second gap reduces emotional spillover and models emotional intelligence for everyone watching.

Example:

You’re about to join a high-stakes Zoom meeting, but your child interrupts with a last-minute question about their school project. You pause, say aloud, “I’m feeling pressed for time right now, so let’s take one minute to sort this out.” The same technique works at work - when a meeting runs over, you might say, “I’m noticing I’m getting frustrated - let’s refocus so we can wrap-up.”

3. Stop Fixing - Start Coaching

What it looks like in YOUR EVERYDAY:

Parenting: Your child is struggling with a math problem. Instead of jumping in with the answer, you ask guiding questions.

Workplace: A colleague brings you a problem. Instead of taking over, you coach them toward a solution.

Self: You resist the urge to “power through” a challenging emotion and instead give it space to process.

What neuroscience says:

Resisting the “fix it” impulse teaches others problem-solving autonomy and keeps your brain out of chronic stress mode. It also prevents over-activation of your mirror neuron system, which can lead to emotional burnout from over-identification with others’ struggles.

Try this:

Adopt a “three-question” rule before offering solutions: ask at least three clarifying or guiding questions before giving an answer.

Example:

Your team member says, “I’m stuck on this client proposal.”

Instead of jumping in with edits, you ask:

“What have you tried so far?”

“What’s the biggest challenge you’re seeing right now?”

“If you had to move forward with one option today, which would you choose and why?”

By the time they’ve answered, they often uncover the solution themselves — and you’ve just strengthened their problem-solving skills.

4. Co-Learn to Co-Lead

What it looks like in YOUR EVERYDAY:

Parenting: You take on a learning challenge alongside your kids — maybe a new skill, language, or hobby.

Workplace: You participate in professional development visibly, so your team sees you as a peer learner, not just a leader.

Self: You keep a “learning journal” of insights and share them in conversations.

What neuroscience says:

Learning in parallel with others builds connection and psychological safety. Shared novelty triggers dopamine and norepinephrine, enhancing focus and retention — and strengthening relationship bonds through co-experience.

Try this:Choose one learning goal for September and share weekly progress with your kids or team. Let them see you stumble, adapt, and improve.

Example:You decide to learn basic coding alongside your teen who’s taking a tech elective. At dinner, you both share what you learned that day, even the mistakes. In the workplace, you enroll in a leadership micro-course and share a quick insight from each module at your Monday team meeting, showing that growth is ongoing at every level.

5. End the Day with Emotional Closure

What it looks like in YOUR EVERYDAY:

Parenting: Instead of letting the day end in unresolved tension, you check in at bedtime with a short reflection or repair conversation.

Workplace: You close your laptop only after reviewing the day’s wins and top priorities for tomorrow.

Self: You acknowledge the day’s emotional load and use a brief ritual - journaling, stretching, or sitting in silence for 1 minute to release it.

What neuroscience says:

The brain consolidates learning during sleep. Ending the day with emotional closure reduces the likelihood of carrying stress into the next day and improves memory processing by lowering nighttime cortisol.

Try this:Create a “final five” ritual - in the last five minutes of your evening, name one thing you learned, one thing you’re grateful for, and one intention for tomorrow.

Example:At bedtime, you ask your child, “What’s one thing you learned today?” They share, and you do too. Then you each name something you’re grateful for and set one focus for tomorrow. At work, you close your laptop only after jotting in a digital note that finishes the statements “Today’s win; I Learned; Tomorrow’s focus is.”

Conclusion

The truth is, you are always teaching. Not with your words alone, but with how you show up, respond, and live each moment.

Missing gym shoes, high-stakes meetings, client challenges, or tough conversations at home - these aren’t just moments. They’re blueprints. They’re the unwritten curriculum everyone around you is learning from.

And here’s the part we don’t talk about enough, the gap between knowing this and truly understanding it is the difference between repeating cycles and rewriting them - the difference between legacies that fade and legacies that are transformed and magnified across generations.

So this month, close the gap between knowing and understanding. Make your own curriculum. Learn self-awareness to see your patterns. Unlearn the reactive behaviours that no longer serve you. Relearn the practices that align your leadership, your life, and your legacy because “back to school” isn’t just for them. It’s for you too. The first, most powerful lesson they’ll ever learn isn’t in a textbook. It’s written in how you lead, live, and show up in every room you enter - every single day.

Challenge: Choose one “success move” to practice daily this week. Notice the ripple it creates at home, at work, and within yourself. Journal it, share it, or try it immediately, because life truly is “one indivisible whole” and transformation begins in your own leadership presence.