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Transformative Success: The Gift of Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning




Has a gift ever changed your life's trajectory?  It’s my birthday month and I’ve been reflecting deeply on the gifts that have come my way over the years.  The one that has been among the most impactful and the gift I want to share with you has been my personal transformational journey reflected in my mantra of learning, unlearning, and relearning. This gift has enabled the odyssey to myself, to my success and to my inner calling forward to coaching. It has provided me with the foundations to reduce that ever present dull ache - you know, the daily seeking to feel good, to feel peaceful, to feel successful and fulfilled. It has become an essential guide for alleviating that ache and achieving both personal and professional success. 

This gift is a transformational process and has two components, getting to know yourself and practicing daily the application of this knowledge to achieve the personal and professional success you desire. It takes work and the results are life-changing. Let’s dive into why this science based process matters, and the real-life strategies to make it work for you.

Mastering Yourself: The Science of Personal and Professional Success

Self-mastery is a dream for many - some may think that it’s just not possible. However, what I know is possible is that you can achieve your greatest potential and success as you define it but first you need to start by knowing and understanding yourself. In my personal experience, using a science based methodology, where you share a common framework and common language throughout the process to see yourself is life changing. For example, Positive Intelligence and its framework offers a way to understand how you show up every day using science based data and applying the tools and techniques daily. This enables you to show up everyday more consciously aware of yourself, others and circumstances and enables you to choose your response in a way that best serves you and your desire for success. 

Learning: The Science of YOU

Our brains are incredible. I wish that in addition to hard science, that real life applications of the science of ourselves, how we learn and how that impacts how we show up everyday were taught earlier on in our education process. 

Thankfully, it’s never too late as we now know that due to neuroplasticity, we can form new connections and grow forward at any age. Dr. Michael Merzenich, a pioneer in brain plasticity research, shows that our brains are capable of significant growth and adaptation, even as we age. This means you can always learn new things, keeping your mind sharp and adaptable so you can live as the best version of yourself.

Research shows that engaging in new learning activities strengthens the brain's neural pathways, enhancing cognitive function. For instance, a study published in Nature Reviews Neuroscience highlights that continuous learning stimulates the production of new neurons, which is essential for maintaining cognitive health and flexibility.

Continuous Learning for Personal Growth

  1. Dive into Self-Development: Whether it’s picking up a new hobby, learning a new skill, or reading self-development books, continuous learning helps you grow as an individual. However, they are not enough to create lasting change.  For transformational change to occur you must look to address change at the root level.

  2. Practice Mindfulness: Techniques like meditation can help you become more aware of your thoughts and behaviors, leading to greater self-understanding and personal growth. A study in the Journal of Cognitive Enhancement found that regular mindfulness practice increases gray matter concentration in brain regions involved in learning and memory processes, emotional regulation, and perspective-taking.

  3. Seek Feedback: Regularly ask for feedback from trusted friends or mentors to gain insights into areas where you can improve. Constructive feedback helps you identify blind spots and areas of potential growth, fostering a continuous improvement mindset.

Unlearning: Letting Go to Grow

Sometimes, to move forward, you need to leave old habits and outdated information behind-to unlearn. This can be difficult because it means changing things that are ingrained in us. We are deeply conditioned by society, culture, parents, peers, schools, teachers etc. The amazing thing is that it is possible to change our habituated behaviors and neuroplasticity makes it so. The question that arises is “how” do we go about doing this? Methodologies like Positive Intelligence allow you to “unlearn” your habitual behaviors at the root level. When you “relearn” using tools and techniques - through practice the transformation and the results reveal itself.

Why Unlearning Matters

Unlearning is crucial for personal growth. According to Harvard Business Review, letting go of outdated processes and mindsets is essential for staying agile and competitive. It’s about being open to new ways of thinking.

Studies on cognitive flexibility suggest that the ability to unlearn outdated information and adapt to new paradigms is associated with better problem-solving skills and increased creativity. This flexibility is vital in an ever-changing world.

How to Start Unlearning

  1. Question Your Assumptions: Regularly challenge your own beliefs and practices. Reflect on whether they still serve you. This can involve keeping a journal where you record and analyze your thoughts and actions to identify patterns that need changing.

  2. Grow Your Awareness: Have you ever spent just 1 minute to observe your thoughts as they come and go? If you do that everyday for one week - notice the patterns of your thoughts. Is there a desire for changing those patterns?

  3. Seek New Perspectives: Engage with diverse viewpoints to broaden your understanding and challenge your existing beliefs. Reading books, attending seminars, or simply having conversations with people from different backgrounds can provide fresh insights.

  4. Embrace a Growth Mindset: Psychologist Carol Dweck's research shows that viewing challenges as opportunities for growth makes it easier to adapt and change. Adopting this mindset encourages you to see failures as learning opportunities rather than setbacks.

Relearning: Adapting to New Realities

Relearning is about embracing new information, new skills and new behaviors. This changes your neural pathways and “automatic” reactions and as a result, behaviors can become conscious responses to your daily challenges. It's how you stay relevant and resilient - ready for whatever comes next.

The Importance of Adaptability 

Adaptability is key in both our personal and professional life. In our personal lives we know change is constant and so the ability to adapt is key to our well-being. In our professional lives, specifically in today’s job market - adaptability is essential. McKinsey Global Institute reports that the most successful people are those who can quickly adjust to new technologies and trends.

Research in organizational psychology indicates that adaptable individuals are more likely to thrive in dynamic work environments. They exhibit better stress management, enhanced problem-solving abilities, and higher overall job satisfaction.

How to Relearn Effectively for Professional Success

  1. Stay Updated: Make it a habit to stay updated with the latest trends in your industry. Take advanced courses or attend industry conferences. For instance, subscribing to industry-specific journals and participating in webinars can keep your knowledge current.

  2. Use Technology: Embrace new tools and software that can make your work easier and more efficient. Leveraging artificial intelligence and automation tools can streamline processes and free up time for more strategic tasks.

  3. Learn Across Disciplines: Gaining knowledge from different fields can spark creativity and innovation. For example, applying principles from design thinking to business strategy can lead to more innovative solutions.

Applying Your Personal Growth to Achieve Professional Success

Once you've understood the personal aspect of learning, unlearning, and relearning, you can begin to apply these principles to achieve professional success. Think of these processes as a continuous cycle of growth - it’s not linear. To stay ahead, you need to constantly learn, be willing to unlearn what no longer works, and relearn new ways of thinking and doing that will educate, elevate and empower you without boundaries. Below are some strategies to help embrace continuous learning: 

1. Develop a Learning Plan

Create a plan that includes not only the skills you want to learn and how you'll achieve them but also one that STARTS with learning about YOU . Make sure it’s flexible so you can adjust as needed to build a strong foundational understanding of yourself. Then you can set specific, measurable goals and break them down into manageable steps.

2. Stay Curious

Always be on the lookout for new things to learn. Read diverse books, explore new hobbies, or attend events that interest you. Curiosity-driven learning often leads to unexpected and valuable discoveries.

3. Use Technology

Take advantage of online courses, educational apps, and virtual learning platforms. Podcasts and webinars can also be great resources. Platforms like Coursera, Udemy, and Khan Academy offer a wealth of knowledge on various topics.

4. Build a Support Network

Surround yourself with people who support your learning journey. Join professional groups, attend networking events, and engage in online communities. Peer support and mentorship can provide valuable guidance and motivation.

5. Embrace Failure

See failures as opportunities to learn. Reflect on what went wrong and how you can improve next time. This resilience builds character and fosters a growth mindset.


From Learning to Lifestyle: Embodying the Change

The true power of learning, unlearning, and relearning comes from making the learning a part of your daily life. Here’s how you can shift from learning to lifestyle so you can embody the change:

1. Consistency is Key

Regularly engage in learning activities. Set aside time each day or week to focus on personal development. Consistent effort, even in small doses, leads to significant improvements over time.

2. Reflect and Adapt

Regularly assess your progress. Reflect on what you’ve learned, what you’ve unlearned, and what you need to relearn. Adjust your strategies as needed to keep moving forward.

3. Integrate Learning into Daily Routines

Find ways to incorporate learning into your everyday activities. Listen to podcasts during your commute, read articles during lunch breaks, or discuss new ideas with colleagues. Making learning a natural part of your routine ensures continuous growth.

4. Celebrate Small Wins

Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Recognizing your achievements keeps you motivated and reinforces positive habits. Rewarding yourself for milestones reached helps maintain momentum.

5. Create a Learning Environment

Surround yourself with resources and people that encourage learning. Keep books and learning materials accessible, and engage with communities that share your interests. A supportive environment fosters continuous growth.


As I celebrate another year of life, I am profoundly grateful for the transformational journey that learning, unlearning, and relearning have brought me. This process has been pivotal in unlocking my potential, propelling my success, and transforming my life in unimaginable ways.

As a result, in this ever-changing world, I embrace the gift of continuous growth and adaptation. These principles have taught me not only resilience (which I so needed) but also the importance of learning to shift my perspective, my perception and therefore experience the significant impact on my lived reality. This birthday, I celebrate not just another year of life, but the incredible odyssey of transformation that learning, unlearning, and relearning have enabled.

It’s time for a birthday toast - “Here's to choosing and living in YES - Your Empowered Success and to embracing the limitless possibilities of today.” As my birthday wish, I invite you to imagine a life where you are not confined by past limitations but feel the freedom and growth that the power of embodied change brings deeply within you. A life where you celebrate each birthday by marking the transforming of challenges into catalysts for profound change and growth. A life where YOU have the ability to harness this inner power, tapping into your deepest potential to create your authentic success. Imagine the possibilities. The question is - are you ready? Join me at www.coaching-you-forward.com, and together, let's choose YES!

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